When Emily came to me recently it was because her confidence was at an all time low, her self esteem in shreds, and she’d lost all vision and direction. All because of a bullying boss.
Emily had absolutely loved helping bring up her baby brother, now 5 years old, and although not academically brilliant, Emily was fabulous at looking after children and got her dream job in childcare. Unfortunately for Emily, a near miss situation at work sparked off a bullying spree by her boss and she had no choice but to resign. She got another job in childcare but her ex-boss continued to bully and her confidence was shot and she lost that job too. Now she did not even know if childcare was really what she should do and if it was not, then what? She had no idea what else she wanted to do or was capable of doing.
Emily discovered that when she took her Talent Dynamics for Young People profile she was a Trader profile. No, you are not that profile until you tell me “Oh my gosh! That’s so me!” so that’s where the conversation began. The more we delved into the description, the more she began to recognise herself. At first she found it easier to recognise the challenges and struggles that Traders often face. She agreed that she’s often more sensitive than other people and probably takes offence more quickly. And she definitely recognised a very typical Trader trait, which is saying ‘yes’ when she really wants to say ‘no’. We playfully put a strategy in place to help Lucy say ‘no’ more often. When she feels that feeling that she has just before she’s about to say ‘yes’ when she means ‘no’, she recognizes it and knows that if she feels that feeling the answer is now no.
When we turned to the Trader profile strengths, Emily also began to recognise herself in those. She agreed that she really cared about people; that she loved to connect with people; and that she enjoyed taking care of people. We explored this area in great depth, and because someone else had written down the words, she started to believe them. For Traders seeing is believing. Through the profile and our discussions, and perhaps because the challenges had resonated so strongly for her, she began to see that maybe she could have a career in childcare after all: that she had the right strengths.
Further evidence of her suitability for childcare came through exploring what she perceived as a lack of academic ability. When we looked at her communication and learning preferences, we discovered that she learns through doing. So if you want to teach Emily to bake a cake, she’ll learn how to do it quickly and easily from baking it with you. And that’s exactly how she helps the young children in her care to develop: by getting into the thick of it and doing things with them.
I was so happy to see the sadness lift from her bit by bit throughout the session, and by the time she left, her confidence was restored, she was looking forward to an interview later in the week, and she’d learnt a valuable life skill: how to deal with bullying without having to consider the bully at all.
A week later I had an email from Emily and this is what is said…..
“I just thought I would let you know that I had a college interview yesterday and it went really well. I ended up getting onto a very good college course and I will be starting that from September. It is only for a year but it gives me an opportunity to work with a much bigger variety of people and not just in a nursery. This college course will allow me to work with Elderly people, Special needs children, in a Hospital and maybe even work with children in a Care home. So when I finally finish it there will be a much bigger variety of jobs that I can go for rather than working in just a nursery.
I would also like to thank you for helping me as I really needed it. I am really happy now and I now realize that it’s okay to just be me and do the things that I want to do and also the things that make me happy when I do them rather than trying to change who I am just so that I can fit in with the other people around me.
I am more than happy for you to use my story because it could help out so many other people that might be going through similar things in their own lives and so I think it would help them a lot. I am now living my life the way I want to and feeling much better because of it.”
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